International Paneling/December 2021
Image by Horster
Coal Sales Boom Expected in Run-up to Holidays!
by Jackie Larva
Brooklyn
Investment analysts are excited about a potential boom in the coal markets heading into holiday time. Investors are hoping to reap rich rewards and short sellers are licking their chops at the possibility of success when betting against the health of humanity.
Environmentalists are also okay with this startling change of events, since the coal isn’t meant to be burned. “The coal is for stocking stuffing and holiday gifts,” a representative from Krampuscoal, an Austrian-based company with mines in America, told us. “Bad behavior has been on a huge upswing on all fronts these past few years. And with the potential for another surge in the virus and the corresponding opportunity for pharmaceutical companies to continue their merciless roll, we feel that all holiday entities will want to dole out more coal. Not just as a way to say someone is “naughty,” but to also reward them for this naughtiness by giving them a piece of coal, which should rise in value through momentum buying!” It’s a ‘win-win for sin,’ we say at Krampuscoal.” And I thought I had heard it all!
It’s a ‘win-win for sin,’ we say at Krampuscoal.”
Industry lobbyists are also reportedly pushing for a mass secularization of the holiday season by rebranding it as “The Winter Spending Holiday.” When pressed for more information about this, we were sent this statement: “It’s not just the coal business that hopes to makes your holidays a little more gray, it’s most business and thought leaders around the globe. If you can all just buy lots of stuff each and every Winter Spending Holiday, it will improve economies around the world. And we are not saying you need to buy things for family or friends, oh no. We are saying buy stuff for yourself, especially alcohol for those lonely nights of online trolling and mornings of shame! You see, the big alcohol companies are on board, too! And you can buy all of this stuff online! You’ll be high on your own dopamine until the treasures start piling up at your door! Everyone loves the Winter Spending Holiday!”
When asked about this greater wave of “negative behavior virtue signaling,” the Krampuscoal representative responded, “It’s already happening! Political and social chaos, alcohol and all manner of drugs, intolerance, online trolling=coal in stocking=money in the bank!” Afterwards, he grabbed a wicker backpack and hobbled away on his one human foot! What times we live in! “Back to work!” he said as the door slammed shut.
We here at International Paneling recognize the massive shifts, or shall we say, the revelation of, bad behavior these past few years. Whether it’s attacking your waiter, flight attendant, random stranger, or exposing the same plus loved ones to health risks, being bad has become good for business. So, as you fondle your stocking full of coal the Winter Spending Holiday, we ask you to think about how many years you have left and just how much coal you really would like to accumulate.
Image by Juliane Pieper
Poetry Corner for December of 2021!
by Sanj Nair
Brooklyn
Cu+ 29
It’s not as if the hollow flutes of bird bone
make an airplane rise. It’s different, this mash
and mangle of steel and heat and pointed things
we know how to mould out of elements around us.
At 29, I was certain that copper was the secret
element needed in all things face cream or worn woven.
I looked to cure the bruises on my thighs,
touched them and saw pools of oil
spilled from the leaking motor of an old Ford,
mixed with rain on the tarmac.
It was just another parking lot
to store botched things that moved
our botched bodies from one place to another
to buy one more serrated thing.
Lately, I don’t know how lucky I am
to know the people I do who work to own
planes. Not one of them is bird-boned, nor am I.
How silly any of us are
to think we know the real cost of flight.
Shorty of the Month!
Kari Tweiten’s Tune “Accumulation;” Video by Tahian Bhering!
During the early part of the virus, a project titled, “Sound x Sight,” was launched to connect visual artists with musicians, from different parts of the world. Isolation was mounting and the project provided small chances for different people to discover each other, as people and as artists. This track, from Minneapolis-based, Kari Tweiten’s solo piano record “Sometimes…” was interpreted by Berlin-based visual artist Tahian Bhering. A nice example of the SxS project. If possible, grab a coffee, sit back and enjoy this international collaborative treat!
Kari also wields the bass in the alt rock crew, Annie and the Bang Bang. Check out a sample of their new album, “Walkie Talkie” at bandcamp! Also, Tahian has some nice paintings at his groovy website. Peruse at your leisure!
Art, Community and NFTs: Thoughts from an NFT insider!
by Adrian Pocobelli
Berlin
It’s been over a year since I minted my first NFT, and, in that time, the space has evolved dramatically. And that might be an understatement—one could argue that the explosive NFT space is the most rapidly developing sector of the world economy. If crypto is the fastest growing financial sector, and NFTs and the metaverse are the fastest growing areas of crypto, this actually stands to reason.
One of the biggest, and perhaps most interesting, things that I’ve learned as I became involved with NFTs is the importance of community. At first I didn’t quite realize this and found it went a little against my ethos—I didn’t become an artist to try to please people and be accepted by society; rather, it was something that I was simply called to do (as many artists will tell you), whether by nature or by some deep fixation in my psyche.
Nevertheless, as a result of my interest in crypto, I became more and more aware over time of the existence of a very strong NFT community, which is an inseparable part of the crypto community that lives on Twitter (sometimes referred to as CT, or Crypto Twitter). Many newcomer artists to the NFT space, particularly those from the gallery scene, often don’t understand the fact that many NFT collectors reside on Twitter, a social media outlet that most of them completely ignore in favour of Instagram, where most of the traditional art world resides.
Image by ANANI
But that leaves me wondering, what does creating community have to do with making art?
However, if you’re interested in making sales, getting involved in the community, i.e. Crypto Twitter, is essential. And further, don’t expect to be welcomed in right away either. I’ve been involved for a year and have only made a few ‘friends’. The pioneers in the space are generally suspicious of newcomers—many assume you’re simply there for the money (how dare you!) and so are slow to accept new people. But, nevertheless, participating in the space and buying NFTs yourself go a long way toward establishing credibility. And it’s actually quite a cool thing—when you sell a work, it's nice to spread the wealth around by buying the work of another artist. As I like to say, “Buying NFTs is good for the soul.” It’s part of the ethos of the space, and it’s quite charming. It really does build community.
But that leaves me wondering, what does creating community have to do with making art? These are completely different skills. Van Gogh and 95% of the canon would have failed as artists if community was a core requirement for their art to succeed. I can hear it now, “Do I have to become an expert on building community, as well?” But, to be fair, we could say this is just as true of the traditional art world. You can make brilliant paintings, but if you don’t have collectors (i.e. community), then life can be difficult. Removing galleries from the equation does have a cost, as building community around artists was their primary role in the traditional art world.
And community also explains why projects like Bored Apes Yachtclub (a Profile Picture Project, or PFP) do so well. Many people are unimpressed by the art and are mystified at their high sales prices ($100,000+), but what people don’t understand is that these are fundamentally community projects and that the art, at least in some cases, really is secondary. Many of these NFT collections have utility, with exclusive access to events IRL (in real life) and even tokens that are awarded to holderson a daily basis, which have nothing to do with the art itself. As a matter of fact, I would argue that there’s a confusion in the NFT scene right now between digital art and utility based tokenized JPGs. I expect this all to be sorted out over time, but it’s leaving a lot of traditional art world people completely mystified by a project like Bored Apes, which, as a result, turns them off NFTs.
With galleries being edged out (at least for now), building community will impact your sales, and hence your livelihood as an artist, so it’s something to keep in mind. Looking into the future, I can imagine a world where each artist has a Discord (an app designed to host communities) and far more involvement on Twitter. (Yes, more things to be an expert in.) The NFT story is not going away, much to the disappointment of many, so artists will likely be forced to figure out once again how they can strategically develop their communities online. It’s only become more important over time.
Image by Horster
Tripping through the USA! New York, Miami and Minneapolis Vibe Reports
by Leo Kuelbs
NYC
I am on the final leg of my first trip back to the states since February of 2020. New York City, Minneapolis and Miami were the main cities visited in this short period right around Halloween and, I can say, though it hasn’t been terrifying, it has been different, disorienting and a little bit fweaky. And I don’t like it a lot…
Upon landing and getting through Immigration at JFK, I shed a hard tear for all the seemingly impossible things that have happened since I got back. The virus, George Floyd, other deaths and all matter of personal stuff within and out of that context, all made moving forward through life more difficult. And so many have lost so much more, not just in the past year, but in the past couple of hundred, with triggers flipping all over the place. It felt like being in a pinball machine of pain.
New York seems to have more drug addicts roaming around. The subway was less packed than before, but there is a feeling that you need to be on guard, that anything could happen at any time. There’s a lot of vaguely threatening posturing all over the place, as well. And yet, somehow property values have skyrocketed. It doesn’t seem possible that it can get tighter right after the pandemic. But somehow it has. It’s bizarre.
Though Brooklyn changes every time one returns, this time it was stark and massive. As I made my way to where I am staying, I passed a huge new building—almost ready for occupancy. Cranes and piledrivers were visible at other sites near the station. I then ran into the owner of a local bar. We had a hug and seriously shed a couple more hard tears. Seeing a familiar face after such a deep and wide trench of time brought about some intense feelings of guilt (since I had stayed in Germany), relief, and unexpected almost-articulations of the meaning of home.
It was only a short trip though Minneapolis proper, but the Lyn-lake area, near Uptown, was bruised and battered. A stop at an old fave coffee shop also revived the feeling that anything could happen at any time. People were brunching with their kids with strained smiles. Everyone seemed tired of being on.
Minneapolis and the Twin Cities area have also changed. Friends who teach told me of how the Social Contract was broken. Trust in systems is either gone or at a true low. So is morale. Everyone was somewhat shell shocked, mostly by the racist violence there and its aftermath, which is loaded with desperate attempts to scare people into change, coming from all sides, and lots of boarded up parts of town that were thriving over the past few decades.
It was only a short trip though Minneapolis proper, but the Lyn-lake area, near Uptown, was bruised and battered. A stop at an old fave coffee shop also revived the feeling that anything could happen at any time. People were brunching with their kids with strained smiles. Everyone seemed tired of being on.
Florida was a work possibility, which turned into some kind of info-mining operation, of which I was the natural resource. Cynical and trippy power moves were thinly covering either deep ineptitude or just a plain old desire to rip someone off. Though that was stressful, I still managed to get a short visit in with family in the area. We got to experience the ultra-luxurious Miami strip, covered with diamonds and money on top, while the water slowly seeped up from below. How long can Miami stand? The word is there are many more buildings on the edges of town that are potentially in great structural danger.
Back up in NYC, we spent some time exploring the property market which is basically all demand and no supply. Everything is more expensive. It felt more like Oslo, without the good welfare programs.
I especially noticed and now fully worry about the people under about the age of 40. How can someone buy a starter house or apartment now? The competition, not only from other roaming home-owners, but from holding companies who gather multiple units, is almost unbeatable. When you think of people graduating from college with loan debt, then having to rent at top of market forever, one must wonder: how will it all work out? I mean, there will probably be a housing surplus in 20-30 years, but as one 35-year-old told me, “That’s still too late.”
In St. Paul, the street downtown were deserted. There had been a shooting a few days before at a restaurant nearby, but no one was really around to seem very phased by it all. A few kids were roaming around, also with a very noticeable edge that was either threatening or threatened. Either way, it smelled about the same. More hopeless homeless. More apparent opioid addiction. The downtown business staples are gone, leaving the hospitality industry in ruins. It was like living in a new, but worse Bruce Springsteen song.
At the end of lunch, at a famous local Thai place, my wife pointed out a mouse under a nearby table, happily chewing on a piece of food trash and not giving a shit if we saw it. We grimaced, got up, thanked the teenage waitstaff and walked back out into the late autumn sunlight, feeling queasy about the whole experience.
Back in New York, I realize that the European travel ban will end in two days and this situation will change again. There will be about twice as many people—mostly pent-up tourists in for the holidays and then continually here until the next set of travel restrictions. Pills for the virus are on the way and soon , and the big pharma folks will rake in even more mega-bucks. Invest!
The eviction of renters has also seemingly vanished from the news. In any case, one can say that an exhausted populace is likely slated for another winter of (hopefully lesser) action and adventure in this brave new world. Here at International Paneling, we smile and say “Happy Holidays,” anyway, and ask you to enjoy those you love.
3 Questions Holiday Greatest Hit with Julia Obst from Germany’s “Die Fallers”
International Paneling is proud to offer readers another chance to check out our first “3 Questions with…” which featured German TV actor, Julia Obst! Enjoy this holiday treat!
2021’s (almost) 10 Best Things About Seeing a Therapist!
by Stu Spence
Sydney
1. You can wear any old crap to a session, straight off the floordrobe, and they don’t care. I wore a football mascot outfit once…nothing.
2. Unlike dinner with your parents, or meeting your bank manager, you can pretty much say whatever the hell you want to these people. Eg: You can say you want to have sex with a house brick and they won’t bat an eyelid
3. You can say you had sex with a house brick (see above)
4. You can’t get anything ‘wrong’, everything is just something to be ‘worked through,’ (NB: this is all very well, until six years and hundreds of thousands of bucks fly past and you suddenly wonder whether it might not have been quicker and cheaper to just have gotten drunk, made a few crazy late night calls and gotten laid?)
5. You don’t have to work out your cuckoo brain, they do it all for you. Simple. The trick is remembering what they’ve told you ten minutes after walking out of the session. Anyhow, that’s their problem.
6. Words like ‘feelings,’ ‘shame,’ ‘guilt,’ ‘rage,’ are therapists’ stock in trade. They love them. When at a loss, just pick one at random, mention it, and voila, they’re off. The session will be over before you even notice.
7. Telling your parents you’re seeing a therapist is a great way to freak them out, setting them off into a paranoid shame spiral that is sure to get them off your back (about being a lazy good-for-nothing stoner) for maybe, weeks.
8. If you’ve been made to see one of these people by, say, a court or a law enforcement agency, it’s perfectly ok to sit and say nothing for the entire session, in fact, I find sudoku a wonderful time passer. Facebook on your cell phone is also good.
9. If you end up in a group session, these are great places to meet people, possibly even a new partner. A word of warning, however, steer clear of the ones speaking in tongues or in handcuffs. Too high maintenance. Trust me.
Image by Stuey
Holiday Hints for Humans with Vampire Friends/Relatives!
by JCO
Baden Baden
Are you human? Are you about to have a dinner party for the holidays but don’t know what to offer to your vampire friends? Here’s a lifesaving Top 7 list , because nobody wants a hungry vampire at their party:
1. Black Pudding
Black pudding isn't just for breakfast! Use black pudding to jazz up you salad as a chunky winter starter
2. Vietnamese cháo huyêt ( Pork Blood Porridge)
One hot bowl of this porridge in cold days will help your vampire’s dead body to feel warmer from outside to inside. It is combined with ginger, spring onion and pork’s organs.
3. Black Tofu
This is a type of Tofu, where fresh blood from pig, chicken or duck is used to darken the color. A great option for your wannabe vegan hipster vampire friend.
4. Swedish Blodplätter (Blood Pancakes)
Pudding made from pig's blood which is made creamy and sweetened with ingredients such as chocolate, milk, pine nuts, raisins and sugar. It’s also one of Hannibal Lecter’s favorite dishes.
The Blodplättar uses fresh pig blood whipped with onion, flour and some other spices. It is served with sweet syrup or fruit jam. Perfect as an in between snack.
5. Italian Sanguinaccio Dolce
Pudding made from pig's blood which is made creamy and sweetened with ingredients such as chocolate, milk, pine nuts, raisins and sugar. It’s also one of Hannibal Lecter’s favorite dishes. Your vampire friends will be impressed by that.
6. Taiwan’s pig’s blood cakes
It is made with steamed pork blood, sticky rice and then coated in peanut powder and cilantro with dipping sauces.
7. Blood Orange
Prove to your vampire friends that fruit can be ‘’bloody“ tasty. Use blood oranges for zesty flavor in a range of sweet and savory dishes. This striking citrus fruit is delicious in cakes, desserts and drinks.
Wintertime is Troll time!
by Disha Lundberg
Berlin
